Friday, 23 June 2017

What Ifs

I'm pretty bummed that Ramadan is coming to an end, it flew by this year and although I tried to make the best of it, I know I was capable of doing much more. However, I am grateful for everything. Right before Ramadan started, things happened and I started doubting myself, and the people around me. Then I started thinking of what if scenarios, and we all know that those thoughts usually don't end well. What if I did this differently, what if I didn't do that, what if what if what if. These kind of thoughts set me up for regret and I was really close to hitting that spot. But Allah is the best of planners, there couldn't have been a better time for me to have these feelings than right before Ramadan, because I took this month as an opportunity to really start again, and cleanse myself before I self-destruct. 

I am coming out of Ramadan with a clearer vision this time, and I hope I'm able to focus and not lose sight of what's important ever again. I want to be able to put my religion above everything else, I want to be able to put myself first before everyone else, I want to feel like disappointing myself is a much bigger deal than disappointing other people. I hate that I am consumed by this temporary world we live in. I keep thinking about doing well in my studies, so I could work, and have enough money to live comfortably, but that shouldn't be it. Life is so much more than just that,  and this needs to always be planted in my head : I don't have forever to live, and I could die anytime. Any. Time. I don't want to die knowing that I could have done more. I don't want to break my own heart with the way I live. Ramadan was a breath of fresh air, it was the change of atmosphere that I needed, and I am so ready to keep changing for the better. 

Raya is riiiiight around the corner and I'd like to wish everyone who is reading this Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri ! Maaf Zahir & Batin. I deeply and sincerely apologise if I have ever wronged or offended you in any way, and I hope we can give each other a fresh start. May your Raya celebration be filled with happiness, good food, and nice pictures to post on Instagram hahah. But most of all, I pray that all of our deeds throughout Ramadan are accepted by Allah, and for all of us to be granted Jannah. Hopefully we'll meet each other there one day hehe. InsyaAllah. xx

I'll end this post with a quote I found that I absolutely adored ; 

May Allah answer your secret prayers, wipe away your secret tears, erase your secret fears, and lift you to the position you so dearly desire. 

and,  a Ramadan photo diary ; 

Possibly my new favourite photo of us. First time praying behind him for Isyak / Terawih !

Opah Chu's

Lala Chong, Ara Damassera. 

The two people I love the most ; mama and adik. 

Marissa Grey a.k.a pepito

Kanna's Curry House, SS17

Fam bam

Selamat Hari Raya, once again ! 


  1. Hi! Yes, you uploaded a post! It's always great to read your blog. :D

    1. Hi Syarafana ! Haha thank youu for reading and for your support ! xx

  2. you are so pretty when your teeth exposed while smiling !!!

    1. Aww thank you ! Haha it's the only way I know how to smile now with braces on, secretly miss smiling with my mouth closed tho :D

  3. Yay another lovely post! Love that you talk a lil bit about Islam in each post. Such a good reminder for all of us reading. With every post you gain pahala for sharing your knowledge about Islam. Isn' t that so great?! Hope you had a blessed ramadhan, Selamat Hari Raya in advance. Luvs :) xx

    1. Thank you for reading ! I'm glad you like the little Islam reminders in my posts, it's as much as a reminder for myself too. Hope you had a blessed ramadan as well and may Allah bless you always ! xx