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Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Anchor

Dessert cravings need to be fulfilled, a s a p.
[ Find them @cakejalantiung on Instagram. ]


Hi, how's 2016 going so far for you ? Right now I'm just sipping some hot Earl Grey tea, while taking a break from studying. 
My mid-semester exam starts tomorrow, and here I am blogging away. Exam stress + time of the month  = Izza on the verge of going crazy. 
Anyway, thank you guys for the love. I made my blog private for a while the other day, and I was surprised by the emails / DMs / comments from you asking if I was alright. 
I think I replied to everyone but if I didn't, sorry ! But I'm okay. 

Had a terrible ending to 2015 and start to 2016, so that sort of led me to making silly decisions, e.g. : Making my blog private and deleting all traces of Irfan on my Instagram (except for one cause I missed it lololol). Speaking of which, our relationship is A-okay too. No such thing as a perfect couple, we're bound to fight, bound to hurt each other unintentionally, 
and bound to break promises without realising it was a huge mistake. 

That's life. That's how we grow mentally and emotionally as a couple, and in some odd way that's also how we realise how much we love the other person. It's never going to be just all smiles in a relationship, and I'm old enough to understand that. It's all about wanting to make it work, together. Compromise is key. #notetoself #notetoIrfan 

This was the first photo I ever took of him, and also the one I regret deleting the most :

29th March 2014 // 647 days ago. First date. 



Didn't think we'd come this far. But I'm glad we happened. 
Our relationship will only grow stronger from this point onwards. That, I'm certain.





Will blog again after my exams. Til then ! x



UPDATE : Just to clear the air out before I get more comments ; Irfan did NOT cheat on me. (Trust me, if he did, I would have probably killed him by now and there wouldn't be a 'Izza and Irfan' anymore). There was no third person involved in this, and there has never been a third person involved in any of our previous fights. 
He's so much better than that, so don't assume pleaaaaase !

61 comments:

  1. Did Irfan cheat on you or something which led you to deleting his pictures? I've heard some terrible things about the guy from my friends from KYS. But maybe he's changed since he met you (I hope he did. You're too much of a nice person to be cheated on, lied to, etc).

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    1. NO. OMG. HE WOULD NEVER. He would never ever do that to me. The fight was just between me and him. I know about his past, and he's told me everything. And yes, he wasn't the most 'ideal' guy back in his KYS days hahaha I know that. But I know him now, and I know he's not the same person he was when he was 15/16/17 when it comes to girls. He loves me just as much as I love him, if not more.

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  2. Hai izza..im sorry if this is personal but it must be quite a fight since u tried to delete every traces of him..it has happened to me before where me and my bf would like say things and then end up in a really bad way..but then he would like make things right with me again. Ure right.theres no such thing as perfect relationship and yeah i was worried that u actually private ur blog xD. But usually even though we bound to get hurt, the relationship grows stronger after that. When ure hurt, its worth the wait because well u cant have a rainbow without a little rain:).hope u guys will always overcome the obstacles that may come, u guys have strong relationship, insyaAllah one day he will lafaz the nikah for u.:D

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    1. Hiii, haha yeah it was the worst actually. Omg you've been through this tooooo ? Hahaha I think everyone will go through something like this at least once in their lives. I agree, can't have a rainbow without a little rain. Thank you ! I hope we're able to overcome obstacles too. Hahaha oh such a looong way to go until he lafaz nikah for me, but insyaAllah one day ! <3

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  3. Im so annoyed that people always assume when a fight happens between a couple, they would say the other person cheat,etc. ive seen some comments on ur posts always assume irfan is cheating. they dont know him and they shouldnt judge, but im glad u always make things clear out. dont get carried away by what they say x

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    1. Haha you and me both giiirl. I know right ! It's so mean of them to blindly accuse and assume that he's cheating. Yup, I think it's better to make things clear than to ignore when it comes to these things because if I ignore, people are just going to assume a lot more. I won't get carried away or affected by what people say, thanks love x

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  4. To people who comment about cheating: I doubt lah irfan would cheat on Izza. dah 2 years, she jumpa his family already, all his friends are her friends now. Nak cheat apa benda. & its izza we're talking about here. Who on earth would cheat on her -.-

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    1. Hahahaha even I didn't think of that, but thank you. So nice to have some positivity around here ! 'Who on earth would cheat on her part' was really sweet also hahaha xx

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  5. Hi again Izza, I hope all is well with everything. This post shocked me because of my idle-ness in reading blogs these days, I was out of town & I didn't know you were having an emotional rollercoaster (?) but it must be hard. Relationships aren't easy but I'm sure you guys will pull through. Good luck with your exams too x

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    1. Hi Fatihah, thank you and I hope all is well with you too. I don't generally like to share about about these kind of personal things (fights, etc) on my blog, but my actions definitely sparked curiosity among everyone so I felt like I needed to clarify. It was hard, but nothing ever comes easy anyway. Thank you for your optimism and the good luck wish ! x

      PS : I've been a silent reader of your blog ever since you first left a comment here months ago. You have such a beautiful way of putting words together and your posts are always very intriguing. Please keep writing !

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    2. All of us have our bad days and yes sometimes it's just a matter of time to recover. I've never actually been in a real relationship to be honest (I hardly like men) but I think every fights between the people you love is supposed to make you grow fonder afterwards, unless if you can't really deal with his shit anymore ahaha but Irfan seems to be a nice guy la, I've met worse. Also, no problem <3

      Really?! Didn't expect you would read them! Thanks so much, I was delighted to know that you enjoy them, and yes I try to write whenever I've a good idea! Thanks again xx

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    3. Mhmm, totally agree with you ! Yup same concept with anyone love you love, really (men or no men). Hahaha yup and Irfan is ! He just drives me over the edge sometimes that's allll.

      No problem ! xx

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    4. P.S: I forgot to tell you I did went to KLFW last year and that was before I discovered you were there + that you blog too. Omg.....the coincidence hahaha

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    5. I was only there for one show though ! Hahaha hopefully if I get the opportunity to go again this year, and you happen to be there too, we could totally meet up !

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  6. omg i was so shocked when there's no pictures of irfan on your instagram! It's okay izza, it is just a bad fight. trust me my bf and i have been together for 4 years. and there were so many fights involved. but we always end up being together. and yes COMPROMISE is the key. If he really loves you, he will try to solve the problems together and not leave you.

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    1. Yeah, I can't believe I deleted them too *slaps forehead*. Omg 4 years ?! That's so long, I hope you two get married ! If you guys can make it to 4 years with a lot of fights, maybe Irfan and I can too haha. Mhmm, I totally agree ! Almost 2 years with him and not once has he ever wanted to leave me, he's very patient and he never acts on his emotions. Total opposite of me.

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  7. Omg izza, i feel u!! Boys are suppose to be the patient ones kan, but sumtimes they have their limits as well. Me and my bf are together for almost 5 years, there are several times we have big fight then sort of break up,(for one day)but then he would fix it back again.every relationship will go through this, and u come back stronger after crushing down.much love to u beautiful lady xoxo

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    1. High five ! Haha yeah, Irfan is super patient with me. 5 years ?? Wow that's long ! So nice knowing that you two went through big fights too but managed to get through it all, makes me feel like I'd be able to reach at least 5 years with Irfan too (insyaAllah). Mhmm, definitely coming back stronger. Lots of love to you too ! xoxo

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  8. Hai izza..im glad u ok now.been worried that u might actually private ur blog *criesblood* hahaha ure really are an inspiration..i wanna ask sumting if thats okay. My bf is in his first year degree and always been busy lately. Like before this we would call evryday but now he has so much work to do but he texts me always before going to sleep and clarify with me that he has to work hard and so on and he has to maintain his scholarship so that i wont misunderstand him. Idk am i being too overreacting that he may be "not studying" but doing other things? I know hes not the type who would NEVER CHEAT but sometimes i cant help thinking bout it..like everyday he has something going on like suddenly next day test..i really salute him coz he really works hard nowadays but idk why am i feeling this way..maybe im used to him always calling me but i still give my support as best as i can..am i being clingy izza??:/

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    1. Hii ! Aw thank you, don't worry I won't hahaha *hands you a tissue for your blood tears* ! Oh I understand your situation. You have to trust him giiiirl ! He's doing this for him and for you. I know it's hard because when you guys don't talk, you really don't know what he's doing but I'm sure he loves you and if he tells you he's studying, he's studying.

      It's hard when you transition from talking all day / all night to only talking like twice a day. I totally understand because Irfan and I used to talk like alllllllll the time, but then I got busy, he got busy, now I only text him properly at night if I don't fall asleep. It used to be phone calls or Skype every night, but now we only call each other like .. once or twice a week. It sucks, and I get upset about it at times but what to do. We're both working on our future. You just have to be strong, and be patient. After all of this studying is done or during his semester break, you guys can go back to talking all day all night :) Just don't assume the worst of him.

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  9. have you ever been cheated on? i heard your ex left you for his ex, that must have sucked. but its good to know you found Irfan and that you're nothing but happy with him (:

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    1. Haha whoa you know my life's history. Either you know me personally or you're someone who just likes to keep up with my life for fun. I don't know if that's considered cheating (he left me already when he went to her).. but I did feel cheated so yeah I guess. Fun fact ! He left me for his ex, but he left his ex for somebody else after that lololol. Yeah I'm glad I found Irfan, 'nothing but happy' is such an exaggeration but for the most part I am happy. Thank you ! x

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    2. Correction ** Irfan found me actually hahaha (Literally. He came to me first)

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  10. is it too late now to say sorry?
    Cause i miss u more than just ur blogging
    (Ignore me im just so excited to see ur blog again)

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    1. Hahahaha Justin is that you ?? Lol ! I can feel your excitement, thank you xx

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  11. Izza. I'm on my time where tests quizzes assignment tutorial line up like so many and coming to your blog (i promise i come to your blog at least twice a day to see either you update or you published any comments or not) and read you rambling about anything is always lovely . One of my kind of therapy. Looking forward for your next post and good luck with you test :)

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    1. Hi, good luck for all of that ! Twice a day ?! I feel the love T.T The fact that my blog is therapeutic to you is such a nice compliment. Thank you so much <3

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  12. Hi again Izza! Are you okay? I was so shocked for what happen! In matters of relationship, as in all human affairs only we know what's really happening in our relationship. Others don't have their rights to interfere. I have often wondered about the proposition that for each of us there is one great love in our lives, and one only. And I bet that Irfan love you more than words could say. I'm sure you're strong enough to overcome this problem. Those who spread rumors about this matter, must be because of they don't have their other better things to do or maybe they're just jealous of you for what you have and they don't. May Allah bless them ! Stay strong Izza and also good luck with your exams :) (Anyway, love your blog so much <3)

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    1. Hi Wana, I'm okay now. It was just that horrible 24 hours. So true ! No one knows our relationships (with everyone) better than we do. Haha not sure if I can agree that there is only one great love in our lives, great love can come in all forms to me. But yeah, he does love me a lot, I can tell. Thank you for your encouraging words, I'll be strong. May Allah bless you <3

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  13. By the way, I've been blogging using wix.com and it is incredible! Hope you'd like to read it :) wanazaini.wix.com/blog

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    1. Oh I've never heard of wix before, but it sounds cool ! Will check it out soon, have fun blogging x

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  14. Hi Izza, this is so random but my classmate look exactly like your boyfriend! Fun fact: His birthday was on 9 Sept just like you hahaha coincidence much? This is totally random hahaha just wanna let you know because I find myself looking at him a lil bit too much and told myself no it's not izza's boyfriend but they look the same uhm why not going to him and ask do you probably have a twin? Hahahhahha

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    1. Hiii, haha omg really ?? Where do you study ? Maybe your classmate IS my boyfriend... except his birthday is on the 23rd and not 9th tho haha. Maybe it's his doppelgänger hahaha

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  15. Hey Izza! I just got a kitten recently and its sick. It tak nak makan and it doesn't know how to use the litter box properly either. I'm having such a hard time. I stress sangat because i kene jaga dia and at the same time i have exams and assignments to worry about. I've been crying je since i got him. I feel so miserable. I've brought it to the vet semua. I hv to force feed it and bagi ubat. I kesian tengok dia meow and sneezing and coughing je. I just don't want him to be in pain. As i'm typing this comment, i'm crying. </3

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    1. Hii ! Oh no I'm so sorry about your kitten. The not knowing how to use the litter box part is normal, mine took a while to learn also. I kurung my cat with the litter box in the toilet for a few hours, or I usually carry them and put them in the litter box when they look like they need to pee. Kesian nya your kitten T.T Just keep doing the best you can and doa that your cat is going to be okay. I feel terrible when my cats are sick too. Be strong okay, please don't cry !!! You're getting so much pahala for taking care of your little kitten. x

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    2. Its been a week since and i sent it back to its previous owner to take care of him until he's well again. I just took him back yesterday and he is a lot better just sneezing here and there sikit. He can now eat and drink, as well as use the litter box. Thank you for taking the time to reply Izza. Really appreciate it :) xx

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    3. Awww I'm so glad he's better !! No problem, I'm always here for a fellow cat lover ! xx

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  16. Izza how do u deal with org yg suka copy u eh? Not as in copy in exams etc. Org yg suka sgt ikut you, if you suka this certain thing or person, dia pun nak suka. And i do know dia bukannya suka sgt pun, dia since dulu mmg suka sgt ikut apa yg i buat. It gets annoying tau D:

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    1. Haha oh this is tough because even I don't know how to deal with it. I get irritated too, like SUPER irritated. But I just keep reminding myself that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, they must reaaaaallly adore everything about me sampai nak copy semua benda haha. I can't help but drop hints here and there when I really can't take it, if nothing happens, I just try to ignore or stay away. Being too blunt or straightforward might hurt their feelings or cause drama so yeah haha. Good luck handling it !

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    2. can i just say how i feel you so much :( especially when your they are actually your close friend??? oh lord. when i tell her my wishlists, she dares to buy them secretly and eventually wear them in front of me!! (handbag,for example) i'm super sad :(

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    3. hi izza! do u know what can i do with my chubby cheeks T.T pls pls pls dont be the next person to tell me to embrace it because i wish theres something i can do to at least make it look less chubbier :( p/s: my weight is only 50 kg but then my cheeks make me look even more than that. SIGH

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    4. Oh wow.. I mean it's fine that maybe she likes what you like, but if she wears them in front of you to rub it in that that's just mean :|

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    5. Noooo, hahaha even I have issues with my chubby cheeks. It's like everything I eat goes there instead of my other body parts. I don't think we can do anything about it, but try contouring using makeup. Contour the right way using a bronzer and your cheeks will look slimmer for sure.

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  17. I'm sure everyone is thinking this - Hanis Firuz copies you. Literally.. You do a 2015 post with a collage, she does one too. Like what even? Even her blog layout is the same as yours.. Geez. Idk how you handle it, especially when she's your friend! I would be so annoyed.

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    1. Haha I think everyone was doing the 'best 9' collage on Instagram and even I took the idea from there so maybe she did too. Her blog layout is similar but not exactly the same, so it doesn't bother me at all (it would bother me if it was like top to bottom front and back the same). I don't have to handle anything haha we have the same taste.

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  18. hi izza i saw you at bangsar village few weeks back! you went out from the toilet, i was pretty excited to see u in real life and smiled at you but you didnt smile back tho :(

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    1. Hii haha omg sorry but I really don't remember ! My mind is usually very occupied and I don't really pay attention to my surroundings so next time say hi !!

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  19. Hi Izza! I just wanted to ask, I was reading your blog and it was brought to my attention yang you wanted to do law. I am planning to do law . I'm 18 this year and i am starting college soon. I am planning on doing A Levels but i dont know what subjects i need for law. When I ask people they say it doesnt matter. It is kinda weird. I just wanted to know if you know anything about it :/ I could really use some help. Oh and I really love your blog! Super inspiring! You have a fan/supporter right here :) much love xoxo

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    1. Hi ! Yup, I did. It makes sense that if you want to do law, you should take subjects that have something to do with it.. Why waste studying something that isn't going to benefit your choices later on, right ? Other people may say it doesn't matter, but I personally think that you shouldn't waste time learning subjects that are going to be irrelevant to your degree. Oh and besides A levels, you could always opt for Foundation in Law too ! And thank you for reading my blog, I get the tingles whenever I see the word inspiring haha, thank you thank you. Sending you love ! xx

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  20. izza! do u know what can i do with my ripped jeans bcs i started to wear hijab last year but I love my jeans to let it go tho. the ripped part is only at the knee but then its getting bigger because whenever i dduk brsila it will become more obvious

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    1. Haha if I were you, I would just sell them. I wouldn't know what to do with them too T.T Congratulations on wearing the hijab btw !

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  21. ^ for the above comment, you can try by wearing tights inside/underneath your ripped jeans!

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    1. thanks there! and u too izza xx

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  22. Hi izza :) i'm actually interested on buying your chiffon top. How can i reach you? I don't own a carousell account :(

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    1. Hii ! You can email me : izza.atirah@hotmail.com :) x

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  23. Hi izza!Just wanted to know are related to diyanah rj? Is she like hannah's older sister or something? Anyways, I love your blog. The contents are so interesting! keep writing. An avid reader here :))

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    1. Hii ! Diyanah is Hannah's cousin (her mum's sister's daughter). I'm Hannah's cousin on her dad's side. Thank you so much ! xx

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  24. Hi Izza! Can you do a tutorial on your everyday shawl? I love how you wear it, so effortlessly ��

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    1. Hiii hahaha maybe one day. Thank you xx

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  25. Saw u in the PL's video. Congrats Izza! :)

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