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Wednesday, 2 December 2015

Happiness Isn't All That



Frustration does outweigh happiness (in relationships) at certain times but when we manage to persevere, we emerge twice as happy than we were before. If happiness is to be the sole determining factor of your commitment in a relationship, then what happens to the idea of sticking together through thick and thin and braving the ups and downs life frequently throws?

Sometimes, as a test of endurance, happiness has to be taken out of the equation. I often imagine a point of financial difficulty some time in the future, where keeping smiles around the house is no longer easy. Will I waver when my answer to the question “are you happy?” is no?

Instead, let's ask: “Since meeting, have you become a better person?”

The term "better person" is of course, subjective. Are you caring for him, as much as you care for yourself? It's not about extracting every bit of happiness out of a relationship. In my humble opinion, it is about growing together with someone - emotionally and mentally. It's about knowing each others’ intricacies and sanding down our edges so that we can come together for both the good and bad times. I may not be the best version of myself when I'm mad, in fact, I'm real egoistic and it is hard for me to stand down from a fight (especially when I'm right), but at least now I know I’m mad fighting for something that is good for us. I may not be happy at that moment, but I have learnt to muster all the strength needed to take the magnanimous ways to put aside everything that upsets me, for you and I. For my interest? For your interest? For our interest.

The idea of holding onto happiness, caging it as if it were a delicate bird, scares me. Happiness is elusive; it’ll arrive when its time. Come what may. “


Full post on Irina’s blog : click here


I love what she wrote a little too much that I simply had to share it on my own blog too. It’s true, there will be times when happiness seems almost foreign in a relationship
and thoughts of ‘I can’t do this anymore’ cloud my mind and judgement. But that’s the point of being in a relationship ; to love each other through thick and thin, the good and bad,
and learning from all of that, togetherNot just get up and leave when things get rough. Giving up should never be an option no matter how difficult the situation may seem,
if you love them enough. 


 As difficult as I am, Irfan has not once given up on me. Which is impressive, because if I were him, I would’ve probably left me in the first month itself  (early stages of psychotic clingy girlfriend begins there). But no, not him. No matter how bad our fights get, there’s always an ‘I love you’ from him at the end of the day, even when I don’t say it back (mainly because my ego is higher than Everest x100, but I know he knows that I still love him very much).  We balance each other out, we’re each other’s yin and yang.

31 comments:

  1. thank you for sharing this post izza. sucha good timing since my boyfriend and i just had an argument last evening but worry not cos like irfan, he has always been the one who give in to me, every single time. Thing is, every time we argue, he always said that 20% of him doubt that i love him because he thought he can never be good enough for me. and every time he says that, i cannot explain how broken my heart is. how can he doubt that when our relationship has been 4 years? how can he not see my love for him despite the arguments we always had. i just dont know what to do anymore to make him believe that i truly in love with him :(

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    1. You're welcome ! Ah, we're so lucky to have guys like that in our lives. I kind of know where your boyfriend is coming from because I've actually said the same thing to Irfan, and when I say that it's because I love him too much and I want to be the best for him but sometimes I don't feel like I'm good enough too. I think your boyfriend feels the same way as I do, he loves you, but he's just worried ! It's doubt that comes from worry and too much love, it's heartbreaking but it's necessary for him to let you know so you two can grow stronger from there and continue being honest with each other. Don't worry, as long as you try to be the best person to him, and for him. I'm sure you guys will get through. He knows you love him, he's just worried. x

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  2. Hi Izza! Omg I read Irina's blog too, she's so inspiring. Totally agree with what she had to say bcs for the obvious reason that, nothing good ever comes easy even when it comes to relationships. Wish you and Irfan a long healthy happy life ahead together xx

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    1. Hi Mars ! I know right, she's amazing and so articulate in what she writes. Haha thank youuu, means a lot coming from you. Likewise to you and Ariff ! xx

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  3. i really love this post izza. its not just abt going through thick and thin, its abt staying with ur partner after what happened. i used to suffer anxiety,depression,being highly egoistic and oversensitive,this and that and even if im sick it stressed my bf out,i gave a lot of hard time to my bf really.but he loves me very much and no matter what he wont give up on me and always said that i could do it. truthfully its hard to find sumone so special like we have. so lets stick with that person and because they are sooo one in a billions and trillions(sorry for excaggerating izza, bf appreciation once in a while yeah hehe). u rockkkk gal <3

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    1. Mhmm, so true ! Ah sorry you had to duffer through all of that, I hope you're better now. We're really lucky to have them kan ? Definitely one in trillions hahaha. Totally get you on the bf appreciation part :p Lots of love ! <3

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  4. Izza! Omg did you know makeup pun boleh tak halal? I just found out about this, I still have a lot of research to do and its so confusing with the weird ingredient names. I'm no vegan tapi I wouldn't want to use pig fat on my lips. I thought I would share this discovery though, and I think it would be something to worry more if we live in US/UK but most cosmetics are imported so idk :/ I'm so dissapointed because I love lip products so much I rasa macam ughh I wish I didn't know :(( what are your views?

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    1. Omg really ?! I've heard of halal makeup (FCC), but I never thought the make up anywhere else would be using ingredients that are haram. Well makeup is haram in the first place.. but that's a different story. Yeah true, we wouldn't want to put haram substances on us e.e Thank you for sharing ! But tu la, most of the cosmetics here are imported and I think we definitely have to do research on their ingredients from now on. I just read this after reading your comment : http://halalmedia.net/hidden-animal-origin-ingredients-in-your-cosmetics/ and now I'm panicking about what I have in my make up / skincare collection. Heavily considering organic stuff now..

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    2. i know right! i have to stick to vegan friendly makeup brand, some being urban decay and too faced (from what i found, i might be wrong) but still some companies make false claims upon these kind of stuff. even harder with drugstore products because they usually dont have ingredients listed out!

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  5. Hai, izza! Can you list down for me the blogs that you're currently following and reading? I want to improve my english... so yeah. Btw, your blog is one of the blogs that helps me to improve my english! Thank you in advance, izza! Love you <3

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    1. Hii, I read a lot.. haha. But you can go on on my Bloglovin' profile, I think I follow all of the blogs I read on there.https://www.bloglovin.com/people/izzaatirah-9511177 . Thanks for reading, love you too ! x

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  6. Assalamualaikum,this comment is not related to the post above ��
    I am one of the volunteers for twins of faith 2015(26-27 December) at PICC,I am selling early bird tickets for the conference,if you are interested,do whatsapp me,this is my number 012-3370744 ��

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  7. Hi Izza! I do really enjoy reading all your posts! Do you mind telling me what the other blog that you always read?

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    1. Hii, thank you ! You can go on my Bloglovin' profile and see what blogs I follow : https://www.bloglovin.com/people/izzaatirah-9511177

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  8. Not the same person who commented about the makeup thing but you said makeup is haram in the first place? Is it really?

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    1. It's not haram if you wear it around mahram, but once you go out it becomes haram because it attracts attention to yourself. Learned this at the Being ME conference I went to earlier this year.

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  9. Izzaaaaa i yg selalu comment psl justin on your posts tu. Btw recently justin followed me on twitter im sooooo happy beyond words T_T u nak tak I dm him ur username?? :D

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    1. Oh hi ! Haha I'm happy for youu, but it's okay don't trouble yourself ! My twitter is private anyway haha

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  10. Izza is that you on vivy's blog haha (if yes then I was right, you kerja FV!!)

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    1. Hahahaha the one in the mirror ? Yeahhh. Some people kind of figured it out, and you're one of them ! Dang, I'm not good at keeping secrets

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    2. Omg izza i baru nak tanya dah ada orang tanya hahaha

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  11. Why did u private ur twitter and why am i not following u anymore? Izza D:

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    1. One day I just decided to remove everyone on Twitter except for people I know ! I removed over 2000 followers one by one (block, and unblock), there's no solid reason behind except that I don't feel the need for people to follow what I tweet / retweet. My blog and Instagram should be enough for everyone, but Snapchat and Twitter are strictly for people I know. I'm sorrrrryyyy !!

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  12. Izzaaaa omg u work at fv??? On weekend je ke bc on weekdays bukan u have class ke? Omg so lucky dpt jumpa vivy :'(

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    1. Yes I do, I work part time. Haha yeah, I get starstruck no matter how many times I see her !

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  13. omg bestnya kerja dengan vivy izzaaaaa

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    1. I tak kerja dengan Vivy pun, I kerja FOR her haha. She's my boss !

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  14. hai izza..what do u mean by clingy girlfriend? like always bothering him/text him all the time?sorry izza i am learning how to be a girlfriend..there are so many questions in my head like"is it okay to always be super clingy" because there are times where i think my bf needs space especially when hes studying and i always merajuk with him whenever he replies late but i heard that even if a guy replies late doesnt mean they dont love us..i know i sounded so immature, but really though i feel bad for always being oversensitive but i kinda upset if he doesnt say sorry or sumtin..what ur opinion izza??

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    1. Hii, haha to me clingy is sort of like.. a little bit too obsessed. Clingy could also mean that you just want to talk / be with him 24/7 and not give him enough space. Aww, you learn at your own pace ! Everyone's different and there really isn't a perfect relationship. We're alike, I get emotional over the smallest things too ! But sometimes we just can't help but feel that way right ? You just have to know that he loves you and he'll talk to you when he can and when he's free. Patience is key ! :)

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