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Sunday, 8 November 2015

Brighter Days


It's 9.55PM and I'm really tired but I wanted to blog anyway, so hiii ! My family and I have been out of the house since 7+ this morning because we had Uncle Shamir and Aunty Hanna's wedding reception today, and as family of course we needed to be there hours prior to the event to rehearse, and arrange, and.. all that 'fun' wedding prep stuff haha. The wedding reception was short, and the food was amazing although I was gutted because by the time I finally got to sit down and eat, all the butter prawns were gone. And butter prawns were the single dish on the menu that I was looking forward to eating the most and I didn't get any !! Okay la, I got ONE. And that was from my brother's leftovers. It was only the prawn though, no buttery-egg-floss goodness on top of it. 

So anyway, the point of this post is not about the wedding or the lack of butter prawns on my plate, the point of this post is that I felt really content and peaceful being around family today. I've been doing a lot of thinking about life lately, specifically how temporary this life is and how scared I am that I might not be able to experience all that I want in this life.

 
Like, buying and decorating my own apartment, or getting married to the man I love (Irfan, that's you), or seeing the Kaaba in front of my very own eyes, or paying for my mum's dream post-retirement getaway to the South of France haha. Makes me cry thinking about it ! Lol. Some people might call it pessimistic that I think about that kind of stuff, but I think I'm just being realistic. In the past month, I knew somebody who lost her dad, and somebody who lost his mum, and somebody I used to know in primary school who lost her life in an accident. It's scary but anything can happen, and we I need to stop pretending like everything in my life is going to be easy and pleasant all the time. I don't know what the future holds for me, and all I can do is pray to God to protect me and to protect the ones I love. He knows best, after all. 

I have to admit, I have been feeling quite uneasy for the past few weeks. I didn't blog, I just kept myself busy but I've always felt anxious in a way when I'm by myself. But today, and now, I feel content and incredibly grateful. Alhamdulillah. For all that I have, and all that I don't. Most of all I'm grateful for my family. All of them. My mum's side, my dad's side, my step dad's side, my cats ! Love is unconditional in families, and I pray I get to build my own little family in the future in hopes that my future son and daughter would feel this kind of contentment and peace everyday, when they think about family too. Is it too much that I'm 19 and I'm already thinking about all this ?! Lol. I hope no one thinks I'm mental.. but if you do, then too bad hahaha. 

You guys should try this sometime, just sit down, and make a mental list of things that you're grateful for. I promise the world will seem like a much brighter and happier place after that :)
 I have a 3 day-off from Uni because of Deepavali, so I'm looking forward to lazing around and spending time with people + cats. Oh oh, and also visiting my cousin's (Kak Long, if you've been reading my blog for a while now, you'd know who she is) newborn daughter soon ! 


Anyway, here are a few more pictures from the wedding today : 

Zicky wouldn't upload this even though I think he looks good !

2 out of 5 of the families. 

My heart and soul. 

Until my next post. xx

2 comments:

  1. Izza, I've always wanted a cat but I takut nak deal if dia cakar or gigit and my mum wouldnt let me because of their poop and all. How do you deal with those things?

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    1. Oh cats won't cakar or gigit unless dia takut or nak protect itself haha. I see, yeah having cats means having responsibilities to clean + feed them. I train my cats to poop in the sand box, we buy this apple scented clay sand thing, and put it in a box so my cats poop there. I scoop the poop and throw it away :)

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