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Monday, 23 March 2015

6769


Exhaustion is what you'll see when you look at my face right now. I swear I can't remember the last time I was this tired after coming home from work. *inhales exhales*. Okay, so I was looking at my countdown application (Dreamdays) on my phone earlier today, and saw that I had another 170 days to my birthday.  I thought 'okay' and then there was an option to edit the year so it'll show me how many days it's been since the day I was born. The moment I saw '6769 Days since Birthday', my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Six thousand seven hundred and sixty-nine days. And what have I accomplished in that period of time that I've lived on this Earth ?! Nothing. Oh my God. This life is so short. I mean, without realising it I've lived for so many days and I assume that I'll have many more but thats the thing, you never know. I think seeing that number today made me realise a couple of things. 

  • I have no time to waste. 
This applies to everything. I have no time to waste worrying about materialistic things. I have no time to waste trying to please people who just end up being toxic to me. I have no time to waste saying that I'll be better tomorrow when I can be better today. Because really though, time is so precious. We overlook this because part of it is that we don't realise how fast time is moving and how little time we actually have in this life. It's a lot to think about, masyaAllah. 

  • I need to do more things that I'll be proud of. 
When I see the '6769 days' I've lived, I unconsciously tried to flashback to everything I can ever remember about being alive. Of course the baby - toddler - pre-puberty phase of my life was just fun and funny memories but after that, I realise that I didn't have much that I've accomplished or to be proud of. I did think about all the 'omg I wish I hadn't done that' crap in my (almost) 19 years of living but that's a part of growing up, and I mean if it weren't for all of those I wouldn't be the person I am today (don't know if that's a good or bad thing tbh ha). But yeah, what I'm getting at is probably how I haven't made much of a positive impact in anything. I wanna change the world, I wanna change lives, I wanna inspire and I wanna constantly be inspired by everything I do and everyone I meet. Those are my ultimate life goals (my after-life goal is obviously Jannah, duh) and those achievements would be the things that I'll be most proud of. I don't know how I'm ever going to do all that but insyaAllah. 

A little out of topic, but it's been almost 3 months that I've permanently started wearing the headscarf / hijab and in one way or another, that is something I'm really proud of, and all girls who wear the hijab should be proud of doing. It was a big step for me, and believe it or not, I feel like my life has gotten a lot better since then. Although some people see it as a barrier to do a lot of things, I see it as liberation. It liberates me in ways I can't fully explain yet, but what I can say is that it has been a truly amazing and rewarding journey for me so far. 


6769 days, let's make the 6770th day a good one. 


14 comments:

  1. Hi izza. I know it is out of the topic you post but I wanna know do we need to wash our brushes and make up sponge? How times in a month? And how do you wash them? Help me pls bcs im still new about this kind of things. Thanks in advance izza! Hv a nice week :)

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    1. Hi ! Haha it's okay, yes we have to wash our make up tools. And it really depends on how much you use them, if you wear make up everyday then I think once in two weeks should be good enough ? I personally wear make up once a week or twice at most, so I usually wash my make up tools like once a month.. haha. I use baby shampoo. MAC sells make up brush cleansers but they're about 50 ringgit. So baby shampoo or any gentle shampoo can work for washing brushes / sponges. You have a nice week too !

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  2. Random question, what moisturizer and cleaser did you use?

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    1. Moisturiser, I'm currently using Olay White Radiance SPF24, and cleanser I'm using Simple Kind To Skin Cleansing Facial Wash Gel (but it's almost empty, I'm going to try out the moisturising version of this cleanser when it runs out).

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  3. Izza. Ive been wearing the tudung for 2 months now. Sometimes i get this minor heart attacks if I see anyone who have seen me without ? Do you have any idea how that feels like ? What will you do ? And izza sometimes i mean most of the time if i see any girls with Long beautiful hair i get This feeling of how I wish I could show my hair as well. Hahaha sorry if this sound stupid and a waste of time :( but I know what I'm doing is right!! Always please the creator not the creation xx

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    1. Alhamdulillah, I'm happy for you ! 2 months is an achievement. Haha yeah, I totally know what that feels like. It happens to me a lot since I work in my neighbourhood, so I always always get customers who used to be my school mates or people who I used to hang out with me before I started wearing tudung. I don't run away from the person or anything, because even though I feel nervous about what they'd think, they're still people I know so I should say hi and stuff. If they're happy, great, if they think I look weird with it or anything, it's okay.

      Ah, thats a test for girls like us. I know it gets really tempting to just go out and let our hair show but we need to be strong and we need to remember why we started wearing it in the first place. I was looking at my prom pictures the other night and I felt myself missing the way I looked back then. Sometimes you can't help it you know, but this is all a test. Wearing the hijab is an amazing thing, and always remember that Allah will reward us for this when we die. Don't be sorry for leaving me comments like these ! I love to answer and give my opinions and everything so don't worry. I hope all is well with you. xx

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  4. Do you get yr allowances from yr parents every month? Or every week?

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    1. I don't see how this information could be relevant to you.. but weekly.

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  5. Yes it is bcs I wanna know how do you save up and sort hehe sorry for this kind of question and make you feel comfortable

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    1. Oh haha should have said so. No, I was just wondering why anyone would ask haha don't worry

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  6. Can u suggest good books/novels to read?

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    1. I haven't been reading lately, but a couple of my fiction favourites are Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami and Where Rainbows End by Cecelia Ahern. Non fiction, Reclaim Your Heart by Yasmin Mogahed.

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  7. You seriously need to do a post how to save up izza hehe

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    1. I was thinking of doing one ! Haha soon, insyaAllah

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