Search

Wednesday, 31 December 2014

2014 In A Nutshell



I went through my 2014 diary / planner a couple hours ago. From the 1st of January until today. It's something I like to do every time a new year approaches, go through my diary. I've been keeping diaries (properly) for about 3 years now, and on random days I'd flip through my old ones and see what I did on specific dates one or two years ago. It's funny comparing myself throughout the years like how things I worried a lot about then are not the slightest bit significant to me now, and how much I've learned, who I'm still close to. 

2014 has been quite a ride. To me, it was a year of new beginnings. New studying experience, new working experience, new family, new relationships (romantic & non-romantic haha) with different people. Gosh. 2014 was my first year out of school to somewhat "discover" myself and oddly enough, I think I have. I've discovered myself in the sense that my goals are a lot clearer to me now. I know what I want, I know what kind of person I want to be and grow up to be, my interests, my dislikes. 18 is such a delicate age, you're still a teenager, but adulthood is staring at you right smack in the face too. I think being 18 is a make it or break it year because really, it is about finding yourself. Or it was to me at least. 

We get wiser as the years go by, it's a fact. We go through different things, and all of that experience totals up to who we are right now. 2014 wasn't as emotional as 2013 was for me, I think I was much more of a wreck in 2013. I had emotional breakdowns, sometimes I got too stressed out until I cried. But this year was different. I was a lot stronger, I didn't give in to my emotions as much. I embraced them as they came. Somedays I beam sunshine, and somedays I'm on this downward depressing spiral of emotions, but it's okay. I used to try so hard to hide my emotions from showing if I was sad, just so I could convince myself that I was okay, but I learned it the hard way that bottling up emotions will never be good for me. 

This year I learned that I could love more than I thought I was capable of. I came into 2014, heartbroken. But somehow, this amazing person came into my life one day and superglued all the little broken pieces together. Amirul Irfan. He made me the happiest this year. He has supported me through all of the decisions I make, even though some weren't easy. He brought out the most in me. The best and the worst, and still loved me the same. Our relationship bloomed so effortlessly, and it's insane how much love I have and feel for him. We can be such pains to each other but I know both of us would do anything to make each other happy. SO cheesy but really though, I love him too much. 

I read something on Tumblr a while back that went something like "Would the 8 year old you be proud of who you are today ?" and if I had that question given to me a year ago, I'd probably say no. I wanted different things, my priorities weren't straight. But today, on the last day of 2014. I think 8 year old me would be proud of the person I am today. I have a lot of flaws, and there are things I dislike about myself, both inside and out, but I know I'm heading towards the right direction with good intentions. 

A lot of things to be grateful for in 2014, like the fact that I'm still well and alive, how I have such a strong support system ; the best family, boyfriend, friends + cats (duh), how so many misfortunes have happened around the globe but everyone I know is still safe. My biggest blessing, besides being born a muslim, is definitely the people I have in my life. I pray that Allah will always have them under His care. I hope 2015 will be even a better year for all of us. 

Usually I'd make a whole long list of New Year's Resolutions. But for 2015, I figured I only have one. To be a better human being. Not just religion-wise, but to be a better daughter, better sister, better mum to my cats, better girlfriend, better person to everyone I know. It's so much more rewarding to want to be better than to have a "fuck it I don't care" kind of attitude that I see so many people being proud of. I wanna be a better human being by being kind to others, by helping with whatever I can, by being nice and polite even to those who aren't treating me the same way, I want to be a more patient, more sincere, more generous. I just want to be better. A lot of things I can and want need to improve about myself, and this starts tomorrow. 

I am plan-less for New Years Eve, hence me typing this blog post away on my bed right now. This is so different than my NYE last year, where I was staying at Trader's with Mel and her family. It was a lot of fun, and I couldn't sleep until about 4AM after the fireworks because I was admiring the KL skyline with my favourite music playing through my earpods while Mel slept. I remember doing a lot of self-reflecting that night and I was determined to make 2014 my year. And in a way it was. 2014 was my year. A year of changes and new beginnings and a whole lotta love. 

Thank you, 2014. Bring it on 2015. 

Happy New Year. 

20 comments:

  1. you're really inspiring me izza! i love you❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww ! I hope inspiring in a positive way. Thank you and I love you tooo xx

      Delete
  2. "I just want to be better." In order to be better, we need our support system which is our family, best friends, boyfriend. I hope they support you in doing all the good things. I hope you'll always be healthy and happy. If you're sad, always remember Allah is there for you. Allah won't burden His slaves more than they could bear. I love how positive you are. Keep inspiring others through your writings. You are beautiful inside and out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you fully on that. What are we without our support system, right ? As of now they are super supportive, and I hope they'll continue supporting me more and more. Thank you and yes, Allah is always there for us. Your comment means so much to me ! InsyaAllah, I will. Thank you for the sweet compliment. x

      Delete
  3. Where did you buy the 2015 journal ? I hope you don't mind :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Izza, where did you buy the 2015 planner ? i hope you dont mind :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  5. I really adore your attitude, love! There should be more girls like you in the world :)
    P/s: can you please do a shawl tutorial like how you wear yours? It would be very appreciated

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww thank you so much !! Oh I wear my shawl normally like how (I assume) everyone wears theirs ! Shorter side on the right, tuck it in my shirt, then wrap it around my head and pin haha. And if it's an awkward length I adjust it. xx

      Delete
  6. Hi Izza! I love all your stories in every post! Love from Brunei :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Alyyana ! So flattered I have a reader from Brunei !! Thank you x

      Delete
  7. Salam Izza. Do you know where I can buy nice notebooks/journals other than typo? Any physical store or website or the Instagram would do.
    And if it's not a burden, I really want to know how you can start writing and what inspired you to write (other than vivy hehe). How do you chose a certain topic to write so that you can attract readers or you just wrote whatever you want to. Maybe you can write one post about writing? It's just a suggestion. Have a very nice day, you lovely lady :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Waalaikummusalam ! I think MPH has nice notebooks, they're quite pricey too but so pretty. They're from the brand Peter Pauper Press. I haven't found any on Instagram though but if I do I'll be sure to tell you through here :)

      Haha okay, ever since I was about 7, my mum made me write journal entries in a diary, every single day. Like what I did, how my day was. And it wasn't even for her to read, it was just for me. She said it'd be like my little secret story book. So I've kept diaries until I was 12, and when I was 13 I discovered blogging. And that turned into my virtual diary on the internet. I've kept it private until end of last year, after I deleted everything, because a lot of my posts were sort of depressing lol but yeah that was how I started.

      Inspiration wise, I get them everywhere ! In a way, vivy does inspire me, but my style of writing and hers differ completely. I think everyone has a unique style of writing on blogs. My inspirations are mostly based on what I learn myself and what I go through. So my blog posts are never consistent, sometimes it's about music and make up and what I did and other times it's about Islam, so in a way I pretty much write whatever I feel like it on that day haha. Attracting readers is just a bonus for me, my aim for my blog has always been and always will be to keep track of my life and to share those experiences. I would write a post but I think it's one of those things where I'd like people to ask me personally (like your comment ! hehe) rather than just letting it all out in a blog post. You have a nice day too, thanks for leaving me a comment ! xx

      Delete