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Thursday, 23 October 2014

Merde

Belated birthday presents from Hanis 
I forgot to include the cream blush Hanis gave me in the photo but it's fine. I am so in love with my presents. Elf's Little Black Book ; Warm Edition eyeshadow palette and the Turquoise pendant especially, they're beautiful ! Getting presents make me super happy and I love them and all but I always feel bad receiving them. I don't know, it's like they could have used that money to get something nice for themselves but instead they spent their money on gifts for me. Sigh. I love Hanis. She gives me a birthday present every year, and I appreciate all her gifts so much and she always has the most thoughtful things to say in the birthday cards she gives me.

Anyway, today has got me feeling all sorts of negative things. The sun was peeking through the clouds from below and the sky was blue with very gloomy undertones when I got out of the house. I didn't want to go to work. I want to go back in bed and stay in solitary confinement until I come to my senses. But no, I was in the car, struggling to put on my shoes with the seatbelt limiting my movements in the passenger seat, and I felt like shit. Probably looked like shit too. I was angry more than I was upset, but at the same time I felt like I shouldn't care. Why should I ? It wasn't that much of a big deal anyway.. I *tried* being optimistic but my sore throat was killing me and my head was feeling all woozy, I swear I felt like I was going to pass out on the floor. The hours went by pretty slowly, I look at my watch ; 10.00. After what felt like ages, I looked at it again ; 10.02. God save me. I asked if we had any Panadol pills around the store and we did. I made hot tea for myself, hoping that tablet could make me feel better but the only thing it did was make me drowsy. I started questioning things in my head like : Why did I come to work today ? Why am I even working ? Why do I have feelings ? Why must I be so far away from everyting and everyone ?? A million of whys and it just gave me a bigger headache. Maybe I'm just tired, lethargic to be accurate. It's just one of those days, I guess. Plus Aunt Flow is expected to pay me a visit sometime around next week so that could be the case too. I just hate feeling this way but it's one of those things that can't be helped or cured. Or maybe it could. If I went on a crazy shopping spree for new clothes. Yeah pretty sure that would make me feel the complete opposite of what I'm feeling now. Ain't no therapy like retail therapy, right ? Right. 

I'm starting to ramble and a nap seems like a great idea now. Or a few episodes of GG to feed my inner Blair Waldorf. 

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