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Tuesday, 28 October 2014

Clingy

What is a boyfriend if he's not your best friend.
That photo was taken months ago, May 17th 2014. It was the longest day I have ever spent with Irfan, I also met his family (grandparents included haha) the same day, went to his old boarding school in Melaka with him and his sister, watched him play Rugby, met a lot of his friends and had good seafood for dinner before driving back to KL. Til today, it's still one of the best days I've had with Irfan.

I was out with Irfan yesterday at Gardens and he surprised me with Gold Class tickets to watch Love, Rosie ! We met up in Friday's, I had green tea while he had a burger. I ended up finishing half of his burger and fries. He usually eats a lot but he told me he loses his appetite when he's with me. I took it the wrong way at first but he told me he still gets nervous around me and can't eat, it never went away since our first date. Hahaha so cute. After the movie, we sat down at Starbucks with hot chocolate and I had a slice of carrot cake. I love sitting down with Irfan and just talk. I think the ultimate quality time you can spend with a person is when you're just talking to them, one on one, with no distractions. And I loved the conversation we had yesterday. 

We asked each other about what kind of traits we''d want our 'ideal' partners to have and though we agree that both of us are perfect for each other, I told him that my idea of an ideal partner is someone who makes me better in every single aspect. Irfan does make me better in so many ways, he kicks some sense into me when I'm not thinking straight, he makes me think about what I say before I say it and to always choose the right words, again and again he'll remind me to study when I have an exam coming up. He makes me better in many many ways, as a person,  but ideally, I want someone who makes me better spiritually too. So that led us to talking about our goals / resolutions. Besides the materialistic goals we had Irfan and his "I want to have the most amazing watch collection" and me going all "I want to own all the designer handbags in the world", we moved to the serious stuff like what we want to stop, what we want to start,  what we want to change, what we want when we grow older, what we want to achieve. We made a list of things that I hope we'd remember, and that change is going to start in 2015. We're going to stop doing this (sealed with a pinky promise), we're going to start doing this, we're going to change this and this about ourselves, and through all of that we're going to love each other no matter what. 

Irfan is my best friend and he doesn't cringe when I say I want to be better. A lot of people I know are more to the "do fun shit now, repent later when you're older" but instead, Irfan supports me, and he's with me every step of the way and at the same time works to be better himself too. And God, I am so lucky to have him. I don't want us to be blinded, and I don't want us to lose our faith just because we're in love. I want the kind of love that empowers us to be better people, not just for each other, but for everything else too. And that's what I have with Irfan and I am insanely glad that we found each other. I'm certain that if our relationship stays like this, and if our relationship brings each other closer to Allah, Allah will make it easier for the both of us. Insyaallah.

I told Irfan about this 'coverting sins' concept yesterday while we were talking, and I'm so excited for us to be better, you know. We've got nothing to lose, just a lot more to gain. 


The second I said goodbye to Irfan yesterday, I started missing him like crazy. Clinginess, at it's finest ladies and gents. But yes, I think I never wanted our conversation to end yesterday. It was nice to reflect and talk about these things, especially with the person I love the most.  Sigh. I'm just extremely grateful to have Irfan. He's amazing beyond words, and I hope I'm at least half as amazing to him as he is to me.

He's starting uni tomorrow and I'm going to miss him so much. *cries* But it's okay, I'm starting soon too, on the 10th. We're both going to be busy with classes and assignments soon, blegh. 


Here's to being better.

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